Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Sometimes I feel a little bipolar. Recently I feel like I have been going through a low period but now as I continue to adjust to less steroids I am on the upswing. I have taken control of the things that I can and that has been a huge weight off my shoulders. My office which is much more than that had gotten completely out of control to the point where I was so overwhelmed by the chaos I literally couldn't go into it. It was such a mess I didn't know where to start. At the suggestion of my dear friend DTS I hired this fabulous woman to come in and help me organize. Four exhausting days later you wouldn't recognize the place. This has totally translated into my brain feeling more organized and less chaotic. Controlling the things I can is empowering and calming.

Yesterday I started session 7 of 8 on chemo. My creatine is at 2.96. This is the first time it has been below 3 since the BMT. Maybe Amy has decided to take a vacation after all. I am thrilled and hopeful. Before we backed off the steroids I was not in a good place. I not only didn't look good but I felt awful. I was pretty convinced I was sacrificing my kidneys to some extent by cutting back on the steroids but I was willing to take the risk to feel better. Thankfully that has not been the case.

I tend to temper my optimism so if or when things don't go as expected I am not devastated but it's a little harder this time to not get excited.

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